IT IS OK.. IT IS REALLY OK... MISSION..
Well I thought about this long and hard and realised that I can't be the only one feeling the way I do at the moment.. So I have decided to share it..
This is not meant for any sort of cry for help but to support those who are/were/soon to be in my position when God has spoken to them about their first ever mission trip!!
Well Its been nearly 2 years in the preparation of Gods mission to happen... still there, at the time of writing this, are a few things left to do and confirm... It is April 2015 now and it is all happening in August 2015.
How am I feeling?? Excited by everything, really blessed God has chosen me to do this for Him.... But.. BUT... terribly scared about it all... What if I don't manage to get everything done over in Sweden that God wants me to do? What if I don't do it as good as He wants it?? Every day I feel scared about all of this.. I am not doubting Gods vision for me.... just ME... and I know this is from Satan!!
Still a few things to arrange which are also playing on my mind... I know!! I know!! God is in ALL of this and He has confirmed it is His wish for me to do this and it will happen in HIS time... I have that, I don't worry about God stuff... And yes I shouldn't worry about the stuff I have mentioned above as it's ALL God stuff...
It is a strange situation, which I am sure that everyone has gone through at some point and probably still does to some extent..
The start of 2015 has proven to be a huge slap in the face of Faith given to me by God.. He said I couldn't do this alone and to involve the "church"... He said to humble myself far beyond where I am comfortable with... He has shown me the huge importance of involving the "church" in all of this...
The support I have been shown by the "church" and even alot of non-Christians has been amazing and something I really didn't think would happen..
Surrounding yourself with wise and trusted people who have also been on mission is VERY important!! I can't stress this enough....
I have a great core of people.. starting with my wife I (who has been so amazing through all of this) and my family.. whilst it is hard for them as well and I realise this.. (so supporting them is also important!! not just your support to them but also others around them they can speak to in confidence) a handful of people I trust to be open and honest in ALL areas of my life... Those who have been and still doing mission to help with the pitfalls over "on the ground" issues... Also a trusted person in Sweden who God has placed in my life. All these pieces are only possible because I listened to God and I broke down the wall of "I will do this myself"
Like I said there are still alot of things to work out and it is a huge "Trust in God" lesson... It isn't as easy as it says on the tin.. but I have seen a small part of what happens if I trust in God and I am sure He will put it all together...
So no matter how you feel about what God has placed on your heart to where ever your "mission for God" may be .. ALWAYS speak to others, surround yourself with trusted people and be honest about how you feel on it all..
It is OK to be scared, worried, nervous, excited etc..... but remember... speak to others and TRUST IN GOD!!
I pray for you to hear, listen, test and act on Gods vision for you..
Peace and blessings